When I was about 12-years-old, I was on the typical Gold Coast holiday with my family when my Dad said we were heading home the next day.
I said I didn’t want to go back to school, and he initially dismissed it as a typical almost-teen just wanting another crack at the theme parks.
But in response I somehow summoned up the courage to tell him I didn’t want to go to school because I was being bullied.
In those days you could avoid the bullies by simply not going to school. It’s not quite as easy these days.
The bullying I was subjected to wasn’t relentless, but it was hurtful at the time and at times it made me miserable.
It’s a little ironic that I was bullied because in this job, I’m regularly subjected to unkind words directed at me but it has zero impact. Complete water off a duck’s back.
But when you’re 12-years-old, you don’t have that kind of perspective.
I remember my parents went to the school, discussions were had and things got a little better. They got much better when my dad opted to have a discussion with one of the bullies himself. Old school, but effective.
The tragic death of 12-year-old Charlotte has rocked Sydney to its core over the last fortnight.
She took her own life because she could no longer handle bullying at her school.
It is a line in the sand moment for the bullying conversation.
2GB’s Ben Fordham was meant to be on leave last week but came into the studios as normal last Monday, knowing Charlotte’s story could not wait.
A city’s heart was collectively broken as he spoke, detailing the tragedy that had unfolded.
The story dominated conversation across Sydney last week.
Parents hugged their kids a little tighter each night.
And then Cydonee Mardon produced one of the toughest stories you will read this year on the front page of the Sunday Telegraph on the weekend.
It was a gut wrenching story. Difficult to read, impossible at times, but oh so important.
Charlotte’s brave parents Mat and Kelly are speaking to the media so openly because their little girl wanted them to.
“Mama, please share my story to raise awareness,” she wrote in a message that showed maturity beyond her years.
And so Mat turned up at 2GB on Monday to speak to Fordham, now back from leave, and continue Charlotte’s wishes.
She sounds like the most amazing little girl.Part of a normal family, in a normal part of Sydney.
But it will never be normal again.
Santa Sabina College’s response to Charlotte’s death has been the very definition of failing to read the room.
In short, it has been disgraceful.
“In the past week, I have been overwhelmed by the number of emails and messages from our families that talk about their children feeling safe and cared for at Santa Sabina College, and objecting to the portrayal of our College as failing to deal with matters that cause distress amongst our students,” Principal Paulina Skerman told News Corp.
Even if that were true, who possibly thought it was appropriate to use such words?
And even if it were true, those families talking about their children feeling safe and cared for got to pick up their kids today. They got to tuck them into bed last night.
Mat and Kelly did not.
What an absolutely heartless statement to put out as part of your public response to a student who felt so harmed by bullying at school that she took her own life.
On top of this, the Principal said the school’s anti-bullying policy was on its website, as if that was some sort of comfort to anyone.
Paulian Skerman’s statement to News Corp on Sunday did not mention Charlotte until the last of five paragraphs.
The first is the passage quoted earlier.
The second talks about not breaching student or family privacy.
The third is about the anti-bullying policy on the website and how families are informed about said policy.
The fourth is about Catholic beliefs and values.
And the fifth mentions Charlotte and the “unimaginable grief” her family is experiencing.
Who is guiding the school on their response to this tragedy?
Someone needs to step in to ensure it does better, because right now it is failing in its responsibility to parents and students.
Thankfully, Charlotte’s parents are not.
They are a force to be reckoned with and their openness this week will be the catalyst for ongoing conversation and potential changes to the way bullying is dealt with.
There is no single person or thing to blame here.
There is context at every turn and this is no doubt a difficult thing to navigate.
But it must result in change.
For Charlotte’s legacy, and for the next child and the one after that.
There is a lot of work that needs to be done in this space.
The advancement of social media and smart phones has only made the challenges harder and schools, parents and the wider community are struggling to keep up.
But this must be a line in the sand.
It is time for us all to do better.
Back to 12-year-old me for just a moment.
I got through it just fine, and it left no scars. And for many this will be the case.
But we can’t just tell our kids to toughen up and that school will just be a blip on the radar one day down the track.
That’s not how kids’ minds work. At the first sign, we must act. And act hard.
Troy Dodds
Troy Dodds is the Weekender's Managing Editor and Breaking News Reporter. He has more than 20 years experience as a journalist, working with some of Australia's leading media organisations. In 2023, he was named Editor of the Year at the Mumbrella Publish Awards.